asdfghjkl (don't take this title seriously)
by silverxsnowflake
Summary: For when the writer is extremely bored and must hurry up writing a summary before she is killed.


Maybe some could say that Kyoya Ootori was _happy_. It could even be said that he was peaceful now, years after the disbanding of the Ouran High School host club in that music room.

Right now those memories were miles away from what he was doing. He was in a business meeting, buying out the law firm where Haruhi worked.

"Mister Ootori, this firm is not necessary to any of your plans...why would you do this and waste hours on useless negotiations?"

Unfortunately, his secretary is smarter than he has been led to believe by the past few weeks.

She squints at him triumphantly (her ugly glasses take up far too much of her face; honestly, she's a fumbling eyesore)

"Is this because of a woman? You never do anything irrelevant, but nothing can stop the pull of love."

Still the same old, same old. His secretaries have a recurring pattern of prying too much into his personal life. Which is why he never keeps any for more than a year. The last one was Tsumugi, who quit herself after she got tired of his manipulative nature.

Haruhi might never be interested in him, but he would make sure that Tamaki wouldn't have her either.

After buying out the law firm, he goes over the employee list aimlessly. For he knows exactly what he will do.

Under everyone but Haruhi, he puts an X so they can be fired. Under Haruhi's blank, he writes, "Transfer to company."

He knows that Haruhi will not be satisfied as a secretary, and so he will make her something grand. Something befitting of her intelligence.

/he promised her the world but she threw it away/she didn't like his taint/now she's living the good life/and he's pouring another drink/

The last name makes him pause. Aria Mizuki.

He shrugs. It will look suspicious if he only hires Haruhi. And his secretary will surely draw conclusions from there.

He needs a new secretary anyways.

Bringing over the papers to the woman at the desk, he places his hands on his head, and suppresses the urge to go home and take sleeping pills. He needs to keep on working. Heavens knows the Orihara deal is not done yet. He'll have to go to Shinjuku in a few hours anyway.

"Is it Fujioka-san?"

He wakes up from his mental schedule planning, and a cold shiver runs down his spine.

"No, it isn't."

But the secretary, the accursed woman, has already seen the pause. She smirks a victorious smile. She knows she'll get fired soon, so might as well get some dirt on her soon-to-be ex-employer.

"You're fired."

She nods, mockingly bows, and gathers all of her things up. They've been packed for a few days now.

He really does need to take a nap.

Strolling to his office, he shakes his head to keep himself awake and sits at his desk, intending to read the files on the newest merge.

Unfortunately for him, his brain overpowers his desire to work, and he's soon sleeping soundly.

A few minutes later, two young women arrive in the lobby area.

"Hey, Fujioka-san, are you sure that we can just stroll in?"

Haruhi pauses. "Yeah, I'm sure, Aria-san. Kyoya knows me, after all."

She's dropped the -senpai part, which pleases the bespectacled man.

Aria taps her heels on the ground nervously.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," mutters Haruhi, busily climbing way too many stairs (the elevators are down today) and scowling.

"Why was I hired? He knows you, so why me?"

Haruhi pauses to think and shrugs.

"He's always been strange. You're probably a part of one of his grand schemes or something. Come on, just a few more flights."

When they finally reach Kyoya's office's floor, the two notice the empty secretary desk.

Haruhi shakes her head. "He fires 'em all the time. I have no clue why. Maybe he doesn't like secretaries...?"

"Open up!" The brunette woman knocks a few times on his office door, then tries the knob. To her surprise, it slides open.

And there is the man they are intending to speak to, napping on his chair. His face is flushed and his glasses are askew.

Silently, Aria tiptoes close to his lithe figure stretched out on the ornate chair, and attempts to pull off his glasses-

and gets slapped in the face for her effort.

"Ouch!"

Wincing, she rubs the red mark on her face, which is in sharp contrast to the rest of her porcelain profile.

Kyoya opens his eyes slowly, and a blonde girl, along with Haruhi, come into view. He must have slapped the blonde girl, because Haruhi's face is perfect as always.

He mentally slaps himself for thinking that way.

"Why am I hired?" blurts out Aria, staring straight at Kyoya.

Insulted, he stares straight back.

"You could be fired."

Haruhi frowns at Kyoya as well.

"What are you trying to play at? I was perfectly happy working there, Kyoya."

They stare at him. Begrudgingly, he sits up straight, and composes himself.

"Kyoya, why aren't you talking to Tamaki? Kyoya! Answer me!"

Then, Aria's emerald green eyes go wide and her lips curve into a smile.

Haruhi's pools of chocolate are still staring into his onyx eyes, and her lips form a pout.

Aria whispers something into Haruhi's ear.

"What? That's crazy!" she says loudly. "He knows that I'm dating Tamaki!"

Actually, since he hasn't been, you know, talking to Tamaki, he didn't know.

Well, now he does.

He barely controls the twitch in his eye.

Aria's eyes get even bigger (if it were possible, he'd have to send her to a laboratory for research on extremely large eyes) and there are practically hearts in her eyes.

She whispers back into Haruhi's ears.

Haruhi herself blushes.

"NO way!"

Irritated, Kyoya waves a hand.

"So, did you come here to see me or not?"

They turn to him. Haruhi has suspicion in her eyes, and Aria gives him a knowing look.

He rubs his forehead blearily.

This day isn't going to get any worse.

"I think you'd be better off working for me, Haruhi."

He turns to Aria.

"I needed a new secretary. The last one was fired two hours ago. If you can last more than an hour, I'd say you're pretty fit for the job."

Now that the challenge has been set, he waves at them to go.

Haruhi stands firm.

"Kyoya, I need answers."

"Meet me for dinner at seven, then."

And with that, Haruhi is left frustrated and unsatisfied as Kyoya sweeps away from his office.

* * *

Aria's green eyes sweep the room expertly.

She sees a man in a crisp suit approach her desk.

So she gives him a dazzling smile.

"Good morning, sir! Are you here for an appointment with Ootori-kun?"

He quirked an eyebrow at how she addressed her boss, but nevertheless nodded.

"And your name is..."

"Takashi Morinozuka."

She doesn't notice herself do it, but she smiles yet again.

This man might be the "Mori" that Haruhi spoke of.

She wonders if he, like Kyoya, also is in love with Haruhi.

Mori is downright confused.

Why is she smiling like that and muttering strange things?

Snapping out of her stupor, she says, "Well, sir, your appointment is at ten. You are twenty minutes early."

He nods, and sits down in a chair.

Which is not an easy feat. He is rather tall and slim, and the chair is built for an ordinarily-sized person.

A little boy bursts through the door.

Surprised, she rubs her eyes and makes sure she has her contacts in.

Yep, she saw right.

He's quite short, but not that short.

Never mind, it's not a little boy, it's a man as well.

He smiles at her.

"I'm Mitsukuni Haninozuka! Or you can call me Honey!"

"Mitsukuni."

Mori gives him a reproachful look.

"She is the secretary. You will probably not be acquainted with her."

Sometimes Aria wonders how the clients can speak without even acknowledging her existence.

She shrugs. Rich people traits, maybe?

Suddenly, the Haruhi mystery pops back into her head.

And this must be the "Honey" that Haruhi mentioned.

She smiles again.

Mori feels uneasy looking at that smile. It's too happy.

"Nooooo~"

He zooms around the room, frowning.

"Takashi, let's go eat cake with her afterwards!"

Mori is taken aback at the outlandish suggestion.

"Well, you said we won't be acquainted with her, but she seems nice! C'mon, let's go to the meeting already!"

He shakes his head.

"Mitsukuni, it is not a business meeting. It is an appointment. I do not know how long it will take for Kyoya to finish with his client."

Right on cue, a depressed-looking blonde boy walked out.

"He looks kind of like Tama-chan..." muttered Honey.

Then, he brightened. "Hey, now we can go into the meeting!"

He turns to Aria. "Well, we'll have cake after this, Aria-chan, so get ready!"

She blinks.

He smiles. "Your nameplate."

She blushes in embarrassment. She's forgotten that she has one, since no client ever refers to her by name. Even Kyoya just calls her "Secretary".

* * *

"Well, that went well, Takashi!"

He frowns.

"Mitsukuni, you broke Kyoya's paperweight."

"It was an accident!"

"That was a gift from Haruhi."

The unspoken words behind the statement are enough to quiet Honey.

He then proceeds to smile at Aria.

"Time for cake, Aria-chan! Don't worry, we'll pay~ Come on, let's go!"

He tugs on her arm in an adorable fashion.

She stands up, and picks up her bag.

Kyoya appears in the waiting room, and frowns at the trio.

"Secretary, my paperweight is broken. Clean it up."

Honey smiles at Kyoya.

"Hi, Kyo-chan! Sorry, but Aria-chan is going with us to eat cake!"

Kyoya frowns again.

"She's my secretary, you can't just take her out for cake in the middle of the workday-"

They're already gone.

Only then does it dawn on Kyoya that Honey will probably want to insist on showing Aria to the rest of the Ouran crowd.

What a pity that he hadn't made Haruhi his secretary instead.

Then he could get her to wear a skirt and not those pants.

He slaps himself again.

He's relatively sure that Aria has figured out his secret.

Scowling, he resolves to hire a new secretary soon.

But he knows he won't.

Haruhi has since refused to make his coffee, since she is, after all, the new Treasurer (get your secretary to do that, Kyoya, in her words).

Aria makes him green tea instead.

He won't admit it, but he doesn't mind the change.

Yep, he's definitely firing her.

As soon as he figures out how to get Haruhi to give him a new paperweight.

And as soon as he figures out how to buy a green tea maker that works as well as a human.

Strolling back to his office, he frowns at his cellphone.

It's a call from Tamaki.

He decides to answer it.

This is the first time they've spoken in months.

"Kyoya! Why have you hired Haruhi after I found that job for her?"

After letting Tamaki whine and wail, he informs him, "This position pays better."

"I'm telling you, though. Don't mess with her."

This call is dangerous enough. If Aria manages to get hold of the cell phone records (she does the bills and the taxes) then she will be able to put the entire puzzle together with a single phone call.

He scowls.

Hopefully those accursed twins will not decide that it is time for a visit.


End file.
